Gather ’round, kids—I’m going to let you in on a secret. Okay, it’s not really a secret, because I’m not one to hide this sort of thing: On January 2 of this year, I turned 50.
I KNOW!! Shocked me too!
So I guess I’m an old lady according to some (like my 12-year-old son, who won’t get anywhere close to middle-aged himself if he doesn’t stop calling me that), although I don’t feel very old.
However, whether I feel 50 or half that, it’s still a milestone, so I thought I’d do a little soul searching, a little assessment, to figure out how I’ve been doing so far. What did I dream of doing when I was a kid? Did I achieve any of my goals? Or should I be downright ashamed of myself for squandering these fifty years (so far)?
So let’s check on Jayne’s Life So Far…
- Most important: be an author. √
Survey says…Yep! I’ve got five romcoms out and just finished writing my sixth, so I guess I managed it! Ten points to Gryffindor.
- Second most important (no, I’m not kidding): have straight hair √
Why, yes! After forty some-odd years of the gnarliest hair you can think of (many stylists wept), some genius invented the keratin treatment and lo! a miracle occurred! Jayne finally got the straight hair she always dreamed of! And mark my words, I will sooner go hungry than not be able to afford my quarterly keratin treatments ever again.
- Have a family of my own and live in an old house √ √
Yep and yep. Although nobody told me the old house thing was going to cause so many headaches, of the things-falling-apart or being-invaded-by-rodents variety.
- Marry David Cassidy X
First fail…although to be honest, it looks like I dodged a bullet there.
- Be famous X
Hahahaaaaa…fail. Not for lack of trying.
- Have Barbie’s figure X
Okay, I know now that’s not a good idea, what with the whole boobs-those-size-would-make-you-fall-over thing, plus I never could walk in heels, let alone on tip-toe without heels like Barbie seems to. So maybe that’s less of a fail than a break-even.
- Be a Broadway diva and/or rock star X
Whoops. Hey, there’s still time, though. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)
- Go to the UK √ √
Yep, I satisfied my crazy-anglophile desires twice. And I’d go again, given half a chance. But first I’d need to…
- Be crazy rich X X X X X
Bzzzzzt. Mega-fail. Again, though, there’s still time. I’ll put that on my list of things to accomplish in the next fifty years.
Because the next fifty years could very well be fabulous.
How about you? Have you reached an age milestone? What achievements are you proud of at this point in your life?